How we cope as a single income family - Pt 1 - Our story

Please Note: I'll do this over a series of posts as I feel there is a need for a bit of background info, to help explain our situation.

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I've been approached by a fair few people now, about how we cope financially on one income, pay off our debts and still live a fun life.

It's simple. I'd rather keep our hard earned dollars in our own pockets than in someone else's.

Background

I grew up in a single income family of 6 in Sydney. Dad worked hard. He did the day shift when we were little, getting up at about 3am and not coming home til about 7:30pm, in which we were already in bed. So we never saw him. In the end, I would get up as soon as I heard him getting ready for work, just so I could spend a few minutes a day with him. As we got older, he switched to night shift. He slept all day and worked all night. Again, we hardly saw him.

My parent's had the usual debts - a mortgage, car loan, credit cards... putting 4 kids through school.. etc

We never went without, in fact when I look back we did quite well. Sure we didn't have everything brand name, but mum made sure she'd get a couple of brand name items for us so we weren't left out.

I did however, feel deprived of time with dad and as a family unit. It was mostly us kids and Mum.

Before I became a SAHM, I was working pretty much full time. Picking up as many (extra) shifts as I could and doing as much over time as I could. To me (and my husband who was also working as much as he could), we thought we were doing the right thing for our family in order to get ahead. But we weren't. We didn't have the right mindset. We were on an excellent combined income, so therefore we had a hideous spending habit, and an even more hideous (growing) debt.

When I was just 21 years old, and 32 weeks pregnant with our 2nd, we bought a fixer upper and within a year we had bought a bigger car, installed a new kitchen, bathroom, driveway, ripped up the carpets and stained the floorboards, installed ceiling fans in every room, ran power to the garage, got built ins, cladded the house, ripped out and replaced all the old windows and external doors, ripped out a wall and replaced with a sliding door, got a new lounge, bed and mattress, flat screen TV, installed another aircon unit... that's not including all the little improvements like painting etc... So in one year we WASTED over $90000 on the house. Did it improve the value of our home? Yep. Did we miss out on most of our 2nd child's first year? Yep! Am I happy with that?? Definitely not!! Did it stop there? Sadly no. We went on to waste over $4300 on a 7 pc dining set, coffee table and TV unit... why? Cause I fell in love with it. Do I regret buying it? No. Do I regret spending that much? Yes!! I can't believe we spent that much!

So why did we spend that much? Because we lived above and beyond our means.We thought we earned enough to support the lifestyle we wanted. We were young, dumb and had too much disposable income which should've been put on the mortgage. But we didn't and now we are paying for it. Literally!

Have we always been this way?

No! When I was 15, I really wanted my own computer in my room so I could surf the net and chat to friends without having to limit time due to siblings wanting to use the computer too. When I got my first job, I sat down with my payslip and a computer catalogue and worked out how much I'd have to work to be able to save up for a computer. I didn't end up getting the computer because I was given an old one :D.. I have no idea what I ended up spending my money on... probably clothes and bags...

As soon as I was 18 and employed, my boyfriend (now hubby) and I moved into a unit (literally across the street from my parents lol). I was always jotting down our incomings and outgoings and working extra debt payments into our "expenses" (I had no idea at this point that I was budgeting lol). We were never late with rent or bills, refused to get credit cards, saved up for things we wanted (except for a medical debt and a computer my husband bought -  he leased that). We furnished our little patch of heaven with pre loved goods from family, garage sales, ebay, second hand stores. We stayed there for about 6 months and then rented a cute little 3 bedder which we were going to buy but the owners wife was too greedy (the owner himself was willing to accept our offer). We had over $10000 saved and were still enjoying our credit card free life. It started going down hill from there. We sold our cars (cash not credit), bought shiny new ones (credit), bought a house and blew most of our savings.

A credit card came with the home loan even though we told the bank we didn't want one. I was going to cut it up, but mum told me to keep it 'for emergencies'. I understand what mum was saying, but I should've gone with my gut and cut it up. We had some money saved, enough to cover an emergency, but I still kept it... and unfortunately the spending started. Hence the debt.

We went from no credit cards to two of those interest free things and one mutual credit card.

I believe you have to have the right mindset to use your money wisely.

It's easy for anyone to say they want to save money and/or get out of debt, but without an action plan they won't get very far.

First, you need to work out what it is you want - save $5000 emergency fund? Save for a house deposit? Pay off debt?

Then work our exactly how much you owe, to who, and when it needs to be paid by.

If you have debt collectors chasing you for money, don't ignore letters/phone calls etc, let them know your situation, they are there to help. If you can afford to do so, give them a call and offer to pay 40% of the total amount owing up front and could they waive the rest of the debt.
We contacted a creditor and politely asked the above, they told us to send it in writing, we did and sure enough our offer was accepted. We saved ourselves $510 :)

Work out a payment plan to get those debts paid down/off.

There are many methods out there to pay down debt, such as Dave Ramsey's Debt Snowball method, which is to pay off the smallest debt while maintaining minimum payments on everything else and build momentum to pay off each consecutive debt. Hence the snowball. I like his method. It's been working well for us.

Put the payment plan into place and see those debts disappear. It's so invigorating :)


Where are we now?

We upgraded our car in Oct 2010, but this time it was a need as we have 4 kids (well we had 3 kids at that point but I knew we would have the 4th soon :)). We've paid off all store credit cards (interest free), so we finally own all our contents (yippee :)). Hubby bought his little run around with cash, and we've almost paif off the family car. We paid credit for our flights to QLD, but I'm not too fussed over that, because spending a few dollars in interest vs what could possibly be a financial ruin if we move interstate and end up hating it, is definitely well worth it.

Are we happy with our situation?
Yes we are. We wished we hadn't spent so much on the house, and waste so much money over the years, but we're happy. We love our house. We love the fact we can comfortably afford to have a parent home and  still pay off debts.

We now have the right mindset to dig ourselves out of the hole, and get back in control of our finances. We can now recognise needs vs wants and enjoy life the way we want, not the way society says we should.

I enjoy living a thrifty lifestyle, and learning all the different ways to stretch the dollar that much further, or better yet, not parting with it at all. To some people, this may seem "tight". Yes I suppose it may be, with today's world of spending being the norm, but I really don't care what the "norm" is and what isn't, what I'm concerned about is my family and OUR financial situation.

Some older posts that may be of interest:
3 year plan
What do I want out of life?
Debt slashing


In my next post, I'll share how we do our budget, and what we do to stretch our hard earned dollar that little bit further.

Linking up with the lovely Jess @ Dairy of a SAHM for IBOT :)

What are your financial goals?

Spring Cleaning - Zones

With spring finally arriving, it's time I started thinking about spring cleaning. Even with only one parent working outside the home, we've been struggling to keep up with the everyday basics, due to our busy lives. The house is starting to look a little neglected, and it's time to do something about it.

I've split my home into 4 zones, and I'll be working in one zone a week during September.

They are as follows:

Zone 1: Hallway (entryway) and  Lounge room
Zone 2: Kitchen and Laundry
Zone 3: Bedrooms 1 and 2
Zone 4: Bedroom 3 and Bathroom

• Each zone will get a thorough clean and tidy, Which includes:
  
  General - All Rooms
  Dusting (inc. walls, fans, picture frames etc)
  Vacuuming (inc. behind/under furniture)
  Washing down of all hard surfaces (inc. walls, doors, windows etc)
  Clean switchplates and door knobs
  Clean Blinds
  
  Bedrooms
  General - All rooms
  Clean air con filter
  Wash bedding, inc. pillows and blankets.
  Air out Mattress
  Dust and wipe over lamp shade
  Deodorise carpet
  
  Bathroom
  General - All rooms
  Scrub/steam clean grout
  Touch up grout
  Reseal grout
  Scrub taps
  Remove seat and scrub seat bolts
  Scrub bath
  Scrub toilet
  Scrub shower
  Mop floor
  
  Kitchen
  General - All rooms
  Clean oven
  Clean microwave
  Clean out fridge and freezer
  Clean underneath fridge
  Vacuum and clean fridge coils
  Descale kettle
  Clean dishwasher
  Mop floor
  
  Loungeroom
  General - All rooms
  Clean air con filter
  Vac lounge
  Spot clean lounge
  Wash cushions and throws
  Mop floor
  
  Laundry
  General - All rooms
  Clean washing machine
  Clean Dryer
  Shine sink
  Mop floor
   
• I haven't included jobs such as cleaning vanities, kitchen cupboards etc, as this is part of our weekly cleaning. 
• I won't, or I should say I'll try not to declutter at this point, unless I finish that weeks zone early, otherwise I know I'll get distracted and end up not finishing what I set out to do.
• I'll work little and often, instead of trying to do everything in one go and end up overwhelmed, frustrated and stressed and most probably give up. 
• The zone cleaning needs to fit around our routine/schedule instead of us fitting around it. I still have appts to attend, make sure everyone is clothed, fed, clean, happy and well rested, aswell as keep up with my daily must do's. So there's a good chance I won't get it all done this month, but as long as I do what I can, I'm ok with that.
• Most importantly I must remember to keep positive, smile, crank up the stereo and enjoy myself, after all a happy wife is a happy life :)

This was meant to be ready and posted by Saturday 1st Sept, but thanks to our crazy life its a few days late, so seeing as though it's Tuesday...

...I'm linking up with the lovely Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Happy 1st Birthday Baby Boy :)

Happy Birthday Baby Boy! I can't believe you're one already! This year has gone so fast!

As a newborn Bubs loved to be close to people. He loved to lay on ones chest and listen to their heart beating. He'd often fall asleep like that. He was definitely a mummy's boy and didn't like being away from mummy... Such a nice feeling, but makes it hard when I need to duck out and do some groceries (I don't trust the hubby to go, he'd come home with nothing but lollies and coffee :))

1 year later...

He hasn't really changed :) He still loves cuddles, he's still a mummy's boy, he doesn't like being away from me (slowly getting better thankfully)..

He has such a beautiful personality. He's so sweet and caring. I love when he's crawling around and he finds the person he's looking for, he'll crawl over to them and gently place his hand on their leg or whatever he can reach and look up at them.. he loves to touch and be near people :)

But on the flipside if you don't do what he wants he'll growl at you :)

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Here's Bubba Boy's Birth Story :)

I'd been having issues with the pregnancy for a while, and the last few scans showed low fluid, small bub and a problem with the umbilical cord. Bub wasn't getting enough blood or oxygen, so probably why he was measuring small.
I was told to go to hospital on Friday 12th August to monitor bubs. His trace was good and he seemed happy in there, but his movements had lessened. The Dr didn't want to do anything til 38 weeks, but scheduled an appt with the specialist on Monday to go thru options.
Monday came, I was put on the trace. Bubs heart rate was really high, and his base rate was a lot higher then his normal heart rate. He barely moved, so they kept me on it for longer. He still barely moved, so the specialist decided delivery was the best option.
He checked me to see if my cervix was favourable, as it turned out, I had started dilating and effacing, but not enough, so he booked me in to have gel to help my cervix along. First dose being Wednesday night, followed by another dose Thursday morning, and then they'll break the waters.
I woke up Wed morning (17/08) with contractions roughly 6-7 mins apart, so I decided to go shopping and stock up on things for hubby and kids while I was in hospital. They were getting slightly stronger, but not really getting closer.
I didn't tell the Dr about the contractions when he asked. They seemed to be fading out anyway. Small irregular ones showed on the trace, but nothing impressive lol.
He applied the gel at 4.30, and kept me on the trace. Within minutes of the gel, good strong contractions started, but were still pretty irregular. Not long after that I had intense pressure in my butt and contractions came 2 mins apart. I was told to walk around to help speed it up. Some were a bit painful, but most of the time, the pain and pressure was in my butt/legs and no pain in my belly. Midwife said that is normal as long as the belly hardens when that happens, because, as it turned out, bub had decided to turn posterior (sunny side up). She got me to do all the exercises to get him to turn (bub number 1 was sunny side up and labour was long and hard). It took a few hrs to get him to turn.

I'd already been there about 6 hrs and asked the midwife when I'd be transferred to delivery or when they'd break my waters. She said they weren't gonna break my waters, they were waiting for them to break on their own.

They checked me and I was dilated about a 2, but bub decided not to descend :(

At about 12.30 I was transferred to delivery. They were still coming every 2 minutes and were wearing me out.

By 2am I had a shower to help ease, but midwife pulled me out to check me, and if bubs had dropped, she'd break my waters. Bubs was still high. I was at about 3-4 and she decided to stretch. I started passing clots, but apparantly thats normal. I decided to keep walking. They were still 2 mins apart but getting a little stronger, either that or I was just worn out lol.

4.30am she checked again. I was 6-7cm and decided she'd break the waters, but I had to push, while she pushed bub down, so there was no risk of cord prolapse.

by 5, the contractions were strong and i felt the urge to push, but wasn't quite ready yet. She said to wait about an hr and try pushing again.

Every contraction after that was getting stronger and more unbearable, and the urge to push was uncontrollable, but I held out as long as I could.

I have no idea what time it was (I'm guessing 6.30am), but I called for the midwife, bubs head was right there and with a few pushes he was out :) The last bit all happened so fast, I was scared hubby would miss it cause he was ASLEEP (nice to know someone got sleep lol). Thankfully he woke up in time.

I got to pull bubs out myself, which is the best feeling :) 

18/08/2011

@ 6:35am

7lb 3oz and 45cm long :) 

We had some trouble after the birth, I had a post partum hemmorhage (sp?) due to an atonic uterus and retained placenta. My uterus wouldn't contract, so the placenta wouldn't expel. They almost prepped me for theatre but thankfully they got the bleeding under control.

That would have to be the scariest moment of my life. All I remember was the midwife yelling emergency emergency, people rushing in. I had no energy, I was shaking but apart from that I couldn't move, I remember thinking this is it, how is my husband gonna do it on his own. I don't know what happened after that but, I got the drip and a catheter and wasn't allowed to move for quite some time.

The next morning I passed a massive clot which had parts of the placenta still in it, and after that things greatly improved. 
I thought that since this was my 4th labour/birth, and with my middle boys being fast labours (#3 was 2.5 hours from first contraction to birth), that this time around would be similar. Boy was I wrong! His birth was the hardest of the lot. He was born at 36 weeks (like #3), so I'm guessing he was nowhere near ready to come out.

Linking up with the lovely Jess @ Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Coping with 4 kids under 6 - How I survive the busy part of the day

In my last post in the 'Coping with 4 kids under 6' series, I wrote about a typical day in our house which you can find here.

In today's post, I will be sharing some things I do in order to survive the busy part of the day with the kids on my own. That is, dinner, bath and bed.

At this point in time, we have no extracurricular activities to attend, so our afternoons are pretty much the same.

Homework
Originally homework was done on a Monday (Hubby's day off), but they have increased the amount of homework and have worked it in a way so it has to be done on set days. For eg. Thursdays homework is to write a structured overview of their new guided reading book, but they don't get the new book til Thursdays, so it can't be done any earlier. So now we do what we can on a Monday and just do little bits throughout the week. This is still a working progress as the extra homework was only recently introduced.

Dinner

• I usually start dinner prep from 4:30 (depending what's on the menu, sometimes later) to have it on the table no later than 6.
• I plan our dinners based on our days - busy day, easy meal. Hubby home, harder meal.
• I sometimes bulk cook and freeze things like spaghetti bol and chili con carne.
• Wednesday's are usually leftovers night, toast or something easy. This is the night Missy stays at Nanny's, and Hubby's work puts on a big feed, so I only need to cook for the boys and I.

Baths

• The kids usually bath together
• Sometimes I top and tail the lot of them.
• I used to bath bubs every other night, but will be every night now that he's crawling around.
• Sometimes I fill the kitchen sink and bath them in there one by one. I actually find this easier as I don't have 3 wet little bodies doing the noody run at once. They love it and have so much fun. It's also better for my back.
• And some days if we're too tired they go to bed as is.

Bed

• The 2 older boys share a room and are in bed by 7:30. 
• Missy's bedtime is 8:30 
• Bubs bedtime is usually between 8 and 8:30. 
• They all get story time and cuddles before they go to bed.

Chores

• They all help. Missy loves to set the table (decorations and all), Mr4 loves being in charge of the shoe rack and homeless shoes, Mr 2.5 'helps' unload the dishwasher and loves to take the clothes to the laundry.
• They are responsible for their belongings and have to pack away their things before dinner, bath, bed or moving onto another activity.

What are your mummy tips? I'd love to hear them :)

Linking up with the lovely Jess at  Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Enjoying the simple things.

I've been wanting to spend more quality time with my children, and let them experience being kids. We've been doing something special with the kids each day.

On Friday we took Missy to the movies to watch Ice Age 4. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, us or our daughter :)

On Saturday, we went to a 1st birthday party, where the kids had a blast with all the activities on offer. There was face painting, a jumping castle, a ball pit and slide, bubbles, a canvas of all the kids handprints and other games.

On Sunday, we took the kids to the park

I'm not to sure what he was doing...?

After the park, we walked down to Nanny's house as Missy was having a sleep over. We stayed there for about an hour. We walked the long way home and got some chips and burgers for dinner.

We unfortunately had a funeral to go to on Monday, but we spent Monday night watching movies with the kids.

Tuesday, we took the kids to our local club to watch Puss in Boots (for free! :)). We met up with some friends there. The kids had a blast watching the movie and hanging out with friends, having a 'picnic' on the dancefloor, dancing and rumbling.

We had a 'picnic' lunch at home after the show, and finished the night off with movies and popcorn.

I think Mummy and Daddy has been having as much fun as the kiddies :)

 

And this is how I found the little feller... time to lower the cot I think :)

Linking up with the lovely Jess from Diary of a SAHM