Happy 1st Birthday Baby Boy :)

Happy Birthday Baby Boy! I can't believe you're one already! This year has gone so fast!

As a newborn Bubs loved to be close to people. He loved to lay on ones chest and listen to their heart beating. He'd often fall asleep like that. He was definitely a mummy's boy and didn't like being away from mummy... Such a nice feeling, but makes it hard when I need to duck out and do some groceries (I don't trust the hubby to go, he'd come home with nothing but lollies and coffee :))

1 year later...

He hasn't really changed :) He still loves cuddles, he's still a mummy's boy, he doesn't like being away from me (slowly getting better thankfully)..

He has such a beautiful personality. He's so sweet and caring. I love when he's crawling around and he finds the person he's looking for, he'll crawl over to them and gently place his hand on their leg or whatever he can reach and look up at them.. he loves to touch and be near people :)

But on the flipside if you don't do what he wants he'll growl at you :)

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Here's Bubba Boy's Birth Story :)

I'd been having issues with the pregnancy for a while, and the last few scans showed low fluid, small bub and a problem with the umbilical cord. Bub wasn't getting enough blood or oxygen, so probably why he was measuring small.
I was told to go to hospital on Friday 12th August to monitor bubs. His trace was good and he seemed happy in there, but his movements had lessened. The Dr didn't want to do anything til 38 weeks, but scheduled an appt with the specialist on Monday to go thru options.
Monday came, I was put on the trace. Bubs heart rate was really high, and his base rate was a lot higher then his normal heart rate. He barely moved, so they kept me on it for longer. He still barely moved, so the specialist decided delivery was the best option.
He checked me to see if my cervix was favourable, as it turned out, I had started dilating and effacing, but not enough, so he booked me in to have gel to help my cervix along. First dose being Wednesday night, followed by another dose Thursday morning, and then they'll break the waters.
I woke up Wed morning (17/08) with contractions roughly 6-7 mins apart, so I decided to go shopping and stock up on things for hubby and kids while I was in hospital. They were getting slightly stronger, but not really getting closer.
I didn't tell the Dr about the contractions when he asked. They seemed to be fading out anyway. Small irregular ones showed on the trace, but nothing impressive lol.
He applied the gel at 4.30, and kept me on the trace. Within minutes of the gel, good strong contractions started, but were still pretty irregular. Not long after that I had intense pressure in my butt and contractions came 2 mins apart. I was told to walk around to help speed it up. Some were a bit painful, but most of the time, the pain and pressure was in my butt/legs and no pain in my belly. Midwife said that is normal as long as the belly hardens when that happens, because, as it turned out, bub had decided to turn posterior (sunny side up). She got me to do all the exercises to get him to turn (bub number 1 was sunny side up and labour was long and hard). It took a few hrs to get him to turn.

I'd already been there about 6 hrs and asked the midwife when I'd be transferred to delivery or when they'd break my waters. She said they weren't gonna break my waters, they were waiting for them to break on their own.

They checked me and I was dilated about a 2, but bub decided not to descend :(

At about 12.30 I was transferred to delivery. They were still coming every 2 minutes and were wearing me out.

By 2am I had a shower to help ease, but midwife pulled me out to check me, and if bubs had dropped, she'd break my waters. Bubs was still high. I was at about 3-4 and she decided to stretch. I started passing clots, but apparantly thats normal. I decided to keep walking. They were still 2 mins apart but getting a little stronger, either that or I was just worn out lol.

4.30am she checked again. I was 6-7cm and decided she'd break the waters, but I had to push, while she pushed bub down, so there was no risk of cord prolapse.

by 5, the contractions were strong and i felt the urge to push, but wasn't quite ready yet. She said to wait about an hr and try pushing again.

Every contraction after that was getting stronger and more unbearable, and the urge to push was uncontrollable, but I held out as long as I could.

I have no idea what time it was (I'm guessing 6.30am), but I called for the midwife, bubs head was right there and with a few pushes he was out :) The last bit all happened so fast, I was scared hubby would miss it cause he was ASLEEP (nice to know someone got sleep lol). Thankfully he woke up in time.

I got to pull bubs out myself, which is the best feeling :) 

18/08/2011

@ 6:35am

7lb 3oz and 45cm long :) 

We had some trouble after the birth, I had a post partum hemmorhage (sp?) due to an atonic uterus and retained placenta. My uterus wouldn't contract, so the placenta wouldn't expel. They almost prepped me for theatre but thankfully they got the bleeding under control.

That would have to be the scariest moment of my life. All I remember was the midwife yelling emergency emergency, people rushing in. I had no energy, I was shaking but apart from that I couldn't move, I remember thinking this is it, how is my husband gonna do it on his own. I don't know what happened after that but, I got the drip and a catheter and wasn't allowed to move for quite some time.

The next morning I passed a massive clot which had parts of the placenta still in it, and after that things greatly improved. 
I thought that since this was my 4th labour/birth, and with my middle boys being fast labours (#3 was 2.5 hours from first contraction to birth), that this time around would be similar. Boy was I wrong! His birth was the hardest of the lot. He was born at 36 weeks (like #3), so I'm guessing he was nowhere near ready to come out.

Linking up with the lovely Jess @ Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

An empty void

Warning sad and confusing post ahead..

I'm feeling sad and down for no apparent reason. I feel like there's this emptiness deep down inside of me. I'm not sure where it's coming from or what it's about.

I've got so much to be grateful for, yet there's still an emptiness there. What is it? What's missing? I don't know if it's one thing or a mixture of things.

Am I just tired? Stressed? Depressed? All of the above?

We've had so much happen recently, perhaps it's taken it's toll on me? We've recently lost a good friend to cancer, I found out my brother was back on Heroin, My Pop has had surgery after surgery to remove skin cancers and on top of that he has leukaemia. My cousins house caught on fire which left him, his girlfriend and baby stranded, My good friends baby was in Intensive care, another friends baby was rushed to hospital (thankfully both bubs are ok), I've been told my son might have aspergers and ADHD (which will be checked in November), my youngest might need grommets as he's always getting ear infections, and issues with my daughter and school friends..

We've been constantly sick. I used to get a cold twice a year which lasted a week, this year it's never ending.

This moving interstate business is doing my head in. I wish I knew for sure what was happening. I feel this is holding my family back.We had everything planned out and now it's all on hold as we don't know where we'll be.

I haven't been feeling myself for about 2 weeks now, but it has peaked today. I found out a good friend is having a girl. I am so excited and happy for them both, but I can't help but feel a little sad. I so badly want another little girl. Yes I know I have a beautiful little girl that I love dearly and nothing will ever replace, but I missed out on so much of her ''babyhood'' due to working so much, I guess a want to experience it again.

I have a fair few friends and family members that have had babies or are having babies and all had girls except for one friend and myself. Everyone I know is having girls.

Don't get me wrong I love all my children, I'm so blessed to have them all! I love my boys as much as I love my girl! But why do I still have that empty feeling? I wish it would go away.

Maybe I'm missing my little girl. She started school this year and I wasn't exactly ready for her to go (she was though :)) and also she's at Nanny's again tonight. I miss her :(

This was really hard to write. I needed to get it off my chest. I don't feel I can tell my husband as he doesn't understand. He says he does but he doesn't. Hopefully I'll feel better having got this off my chest.

Have you got any thoughts or ideas on how I can get over this?
How I can fill this void?
Have you had any empty voids? How did you ''fill'' it?

Moving??

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I've been meaning to do a post for a while now, but the truth is since we've been planning our move, I haven't really had much else on mind...

I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could though, I've changed my mind so many times that it's doing my head in. I was 110% for the move and was so happy and excited ignored all the what ifs and wanted to start fresh. All my family and friends were supportive except for one friend. She was almost in tears and very negative which in turn made me very upset to the point of tears and I got cold feet.

From that point on I've been yoyoing with my decision. After the phone call to the said friend, I sobbed to my husband who was sweet and understanding. We decided against the move and to just enjoy what we have. I mentioned to mum how we were feeling and she said ''Oh you better not be pulling out now." Pulling out now?? It's not as simple as that.. There's so much weighing on this decision and I feel like I need to impress everyone. If I go I'm upsetting people. If I don't go I'm upsetting people...

That isn't the concern though. The main concerns are:

• What if we get there and we hate it?
• What if we regret it?
• Leaving a good paying job for a possible not so good paying job..or no job at all.
• I don't want to sell my house but unsure about renting it out. Non paying tenants, trashing etc

They are the main concerns, there are so many more, but they aren't that big, just me thinking too much. 

I wish I hadn't mentioned it to said friend, I'd probably be up there already :D

Time for a change. Or is it?

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We've been discussing for a while now, about moving to Queensland. We have many reasons for and against the move, most being for the move.

Mostly, we want to raise our kids in a better area and to have a better quality of life. We're from Sydney, born and raised and we don't feel we can do that here anymore (Sorry to all the Sydney lovers, personal opinion :)). A suburb about 12 minutes away is notorious for drive by shootings. The most recent one, closer to home, was only 7 minutes away.

I know crime is everywhere, but not everywhere is like that.

We used to really love our street. When we bought our house, half of the street were elderly, and the other half were young families. Everyone knew everyone, very friendly and safe, but unfortunately the elderly are slowly 'moving upstairs with the big man', and not so nice people are moving in.We no longer feel safe and comfortable, and after talking with a few 'original' neighbours, we found out we're not the only ones.

The main issues for staying are, work, family and friends. Hubby's in a good job with a decent wage and we don't want to throw that away (transfer not possible). My parents, brother and sister in law all want to move too, but that still leaves my sister, nephew, 2 of my brothers, grandparents and all my cousins, aunts and uncles - We all live within 20 minutes of each other. My In laws are 15 minutes away, and of course friends. I don't know if I could move my family away from all the people we care about.

I won't go into all the pro's and con's because I'll be here all night, but I'm really stuck with what we should do. Hubby's not really much help as he's 'not fussed either way' (his words) but he does feel the same about the above reasons. He did say that if he was guaranteed work that he'd love to move... either way he wants to move, local or not.

I'm really excited at the possibilty. I've been looking at houses, jobs, schools etc etc. I'm got a moving mentality, I don't want to buy or bring anything else into the house, I want a major cleanout - if I don't want to bring it with us, it's going. I've stopped thinking about what needs to be done around here in order to suit our growing family and strangely I'm a lot happier than I have been in a while.

And no, I'm not getting my hopes up, because there's a very high chance it won't happen, but it's still nice to dream :)

Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Enjoying the simple things.

I've been wanting to spend more quality time with my children, and let them experience being kids. We've been doing something special with the kids each day.

On Friday we took Missy to the movies to watch Ice Age 4. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, us or our daughter :)

On Saturday, we went to a 1st birthday party, where the kids had a blast with all the activities on offer. There was face painting, a jumping castle, a ball pit and slide, bubbles, a canvas of all the kids handprints and other games.

On Sunday, we took the kids to the park

I'm not to sure what he was doing...?

After the park, we walked down to Nanny's house as Missy was having a sleep over. We stayed there for about an hour. We walked the long way home and got some chips and burgers for dinner.

We unfortunately had a funeral to go to on Monday, but we spent Monday night watching movies with the kids.

Tuesday, we took the kids to our local club to watch Puss in Boots (for free! :)). We met up with some friends there. The kids had a blast watching the movie and hanging out with friends, having a 'picnic' on the dancefloor, dancing and rumbling.

We had a 'picnic' lunch at home after the show, and finished the night off with movies and popcorn.

I think Mummy and Daddy has been having as much fun as the kiddies :)

 

And this is how I found the little feller... time to lower the cot I think :)

Linking up with the lovely Jess from Diary of a SAHM

3 year plan

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I'm a planner. I'm always planning things, setting goals, working out things and more often than not I do my head in lol.. if only this would actually help to keep me organised... but sadly it doesn't...

I'm not adding in little plans/goals, just the big ones.

Here's the plan -

2012

• Pay off car loan
• Sell 2nd car and buy a ute
• Have a small get away in Sept/Oct
  

2013

• Either a getaway to Queensland in January, or a muchly muchly desired holiday to Fiji in June/July (Or both would be even better :)).
• Pay extra onto smaller mortgage (no rush to get it paid off)
• (Possibly) Start plans for extension - ground floor or second story depending on costs and approval.
  ..OR..
• (Possibly) An attic conversion - again depending on costs and approval.

2014

• J Man (Mr almost 4) Off to school :(
• Extensions done
• Fiji - if not done (was original plan as it will be our 10 year ''dating'' anniversary in July 2014, and we wanted to do something special ).
• Get a pool
• Maybe Baby... :)

2015

• Mr 2.5 off to school :( (they grow up too fast)
• Hubs 30th - got something big in mind :)
• Carport
• Maybe Baby - if we decided not to try in 2014 

We know things don't always go to plan, we originally planned to have 2 kids close in age, have a 5 yr gap, get a house and then have two more kids. Well that plan went out the window when Mr 2.5 surprised us :)

It'll be interesting to look back on in a few years time and see what we've accomplished.

What are your plans for the future?

Linking up with Jess @ Diary of a SAHM for IBOT

Sorting out our lives pt 2

In my last post, I mentioned how I wanted to look at different areas in our lives that needed work, and to focus on them. You can read it here.

While catching up on other blogs, I came across Organising Queen's blog. Her most recent post A life service is pretty much what I'm talking about.

This is from her post
Answer these questions honestly
How happy are you with the state of your health, family, home, career, friends, etc?
Are you at the point where you thought you'd be at this time of the year?
If not, be honest with yourself and say why or why not.
Are you making excuses for anything? (Remember You get to choose )
What do you need to let go of?

I'm going to answer these honestly...

How happy are you with the state of your health, family, home, career, friends, etc?

• Health - 6/10 - needs a lot of work.. I'm always tired no matter how much sleep I get. I need to exercise more and not be so hard on myself.
  
• Family - 7.5/10 -I love my family, they are the most important thing to me, but because I'm always tired, I don't feel I give as much as I can (yes I'm being hard on myself). I need to spend more quality time with the kids, I need to listen more, interact more, play more and stress less. I want more time for hubby and I, but it's hard, especially with him working so much, but we sneak cuddles and kisses where we can and talk a lot. My me time consists of falling on the lounge, pulling out the laptop, surfing the net for a little while and having a long hot shower at about 11pm. I want to get back into yoga, and simply have a chance to think and relax.
  
• Home - 7/10 - The decluttering is definitely paying off, and I'm enjoying my house more and more, and I don't feel embarrassed anymore. There's still a lot of unfinished jobs, but when the budget allows, we'll get other people to do it, we'd rather spend our time together as a family.
  
• Career 9/10 - I'm a SAHM (previously a work away from home mum) and even though I miss the money, Í'm so much happier and relaxed, therefore a better mum and wife. I take my job/role seriously and I'm really interested in learning as much as I can about home ec, to improve the lives of myself and my family.
  
• Friends 6.5/10 - I really need to catch up with my friends more. I usually see friends once a week, and a weekend catch up once or twice a month, but playdates/catch ups are often being post poned due to both parties being too busy, too tired, or im my case, time restricted due to hubbys work hrs and school drop off/pick up. I'm using the school holidays to catch up with friends as I won't be so restricted.

I'm adding this one as it is mentioned in my last post and very important to us...

• Finances 7/10 - I hate debt! But having said that, I'm pretty happy with our situation overall, as we're in our 20's, with 4 kids and our total debt including mortgage is less than the total debt of a few couples I know that are only years away from retirement.

Are you at the point where you thought you'd be at this time of the year?Yes I'm content with where we are.

If not, be honest with yourself and say why or why not.

Are you making excuses for anything?
I do need to spend more time with friends. I've gotta stop post poning.

What do you need to let go of?
Physical and Emotional clutter

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Going by the answers, I need to work on interacting more with my kids, just ''being there'' isn't enough. I need to be kinder to myself, and I need to spend more time with my friends.

So how does one give more to be kinder to others, yet give less to be kinder to oneself?

Sorting out our lives

With the new financial year fast approaching, I decided to look at not only our finances, but other areas of our lives that need some work. I'm using the new financial year as a clean slate.

Area's in which I want to work on are:

• Debts
• Kids quality time
• Routines
• Housework/organising/decluttering
• Me time
• Mummy, Daddy time
• Family time
• Friends

I'm going to sit down and work out ways in which I can improve on each of these areas. For eg. With Debts, I want to get the car loan under $10000 by the end of July (It's at $12400ish at the moment). Easy to say, but is it doable? I really hope so!

I will do another post once I've made a plan, but for now the best thing I can do for myself is to get some sleep :)

Dr's Visit and possible diagnosis...

I've been a little MIA the last few days, it seems that in such a short amount of time, a lot has happened.

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My 70 year old neighbour had sugery to remove one of his lungs due to cancer, he had internal bleeding, got pneumonia and had a heart attack all within a week of the surgery. He's on life support, but as of yesterday he was showing signs of improvement, thankfully.

Sunday night, bub came down with a raised rash on his hands and feet which was spreading up his arm, I was so worried as my sister has recently had measles. I called the after hours Dr, and after what seemed like 1000 questions, he said it was possibly a allergic reaction or a viral infection, and to take him to the Dr in the morning.

I was going to the Dr anyway, as I needed to take Mr 2.5. It turns out both bub and I have chilblains, him on his hands and feet, and me on my toes. Thankfully that's all it was. Mr 2.5 on the other hand, possibly has ADHD and Asperger's. It didn't come as a surprise that he might have one or the other, but it was a shock to hear both. I need to take him to a pediatrician to find out for sure.

I'm nervous and worried naturally, but I'm prepared for the diagnosis, whatever it may be, as he'll get the help he needs and hopefully things will improve from here. I need to call the pediatrician back next week, as the aren't doing any bookings at the moment.. why I don't know, but I guess they have their reasons.

Have you had/know anyone that has had any experience with kids with ADHD and/or Asperger's? What should I/we expect? Any information will be greatly appreciated :)

Linking up with the lovely Jess @ Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Update on Missy's room

As you may know, we've been fixing up our daughter's room. Even though we did a major declutter last year, and with regular 'sort throughs', it needed a lot of work. You can find last years declutter post's here and here.

Here's a couple of pics of her room before we started on this journey last year.

Ok...yep...that's how her room looked... on a regular basis.

It never gets that bad anymore, we've decluttered to a point that it's controllable even when it's a mess. If that makes sense... :)

This is how it looks now. It's not completely finished. There's still holes in the wall that need filling and painting over, scribbles to clean off... But the main thing is her room is tidy and organised.

It's such a great feeling to look back on the pics from last year. 

We've gotten rid of so much stuff not only from her room but the whole house.

Here's what we do that helps with the toy clutter:

• I often get the kids to pick toys to give to charity. 
• If they double up on a toy, 1 needs to be passed on.
• If an inside toy goes outside and they don't bring it back in/look after it, it goes.
• If the toy box overflows, it's time for a clear out
• If they don't use/play with it, it goes.
• If it's broken/missing parts, it goes.
• If family and friends ask what to get them, we'll suggest money towards something big (this year possibly a cubby house), get something that they're really interested in, or clothes.
• We don't buy many toys for them throughout the year, toys are left for Birthdays/Christmas.
  
  

Before starting this journey, we did pretty much the opposite to the above. It definitely shows.

Family Outing - The Zoo

On Sunday, My husband was putting his dirtbike on the trailer. He was going for a ride to test it out after fixing it up. Our daughter got really upset and didn't want him to go because she wanted "her family of 6" to be together. This broke my heart. We've been focusing so much on other things recently, and this really showed with what she said. 

I didn't want to ask Hubby not to go as he's been so eager to go riding, but the bike has been out of action for months and he's been rebuilding it. So I suggested a family day out. Forget school, forget work, just focus on the family.

Here's our day :)

Missy and Mr almost 4 cracking up over I don't know what :)

Mr almost 4's favourite part of the day.

It climbed onto the log, toppled off and rolled onto its back, and he thought it was hilarious :)

Mummy's favourite part of the day :)

Mr 2.5's favourite part of the day :)

Well, the fountain and a random bird that kept on finding us but I didn't get a pic of it :)

Missy's absolute FAVOURITE part of the day :)

She loves ponies say no more.

Hubby's best friend :)

It wouldn't leave us alone so he had to keep shooing it away lol

Mr 2.5 telling it to go away :)

It stole his lunch lol

(this wasn't Mr 2.5's random bird)

Bubby :)

We had a great day and can't wait to do it again.

Missy has requested pony rides next.

:)

Linking up to Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT :)

Four-step Priority plan for Mother's - Dr Phil

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As said in my latest post which you can find here, I want to be a better mum to my kids. I found this on Dr Phil's site and it has some great tips for frazzled mummies.

Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers

Are you stressed out from running the household, packing lunches and being a PTA mom? If you're mentally exhausted and out of balance, you aren't being fair to yourself or your family. You'll be a happier person " not to mention a better wife, mother and friend " once you stop putting your own needs last.

Make yourself a priority with Dr. Phil's tips!

1. Get over the guilt.

• Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.
• Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.
• A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.
• Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.

2. Make yourself a priority.

• Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love.
• Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves.
• Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.

3. Discover your passions.

• Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?
• Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?"
• When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.

4. Gain the support of your family.

• This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for yourself " so you can be a better mom and wife.
• Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.
  

I definitely need to make myself a priority, sometimes I feel so behind the scenes and forgotten about, even though I'm not. My family don't make me feel like that, it's how I make myself feel because I'm always making sure everyone else is happy, comfy and nourished, the house is at a non embarrassing state and the bills are paid that I forget about myself.

Priorities.

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In my last post, which you can read here, I stated that Family is what I want out of life. My family IS my life. In saying that, I want to prioritise me life.

As I'm typing this, my little man Mr 3 gets out of bed and asks for a drink of water. I gave him a little drink, and he gives me a big cuddle tells me he loves me and walks to the lounge..

"I'm sitting on the younge with my jink and I'm going to wait for Daddy."

(mistakes intended, that's how he talks :))

I was thinking of sending him back to bed, but then I thought why not let him stay up with me? He's no trouble. It'll make him happy and I'm sure he'll be asleep before Daddy gets home anyway.

My Priorities:

My children.

My children are my absolute number one priority. They come before anything and anyone in this world (The husband would like to think he comes first but nah lol).

Being a good mum to my children.
This explains itself

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My husband and myself.
I do tend to put everything and everyone before myself, I think it's what us mums do, but I'm making myself a priority, and start taking better care of myself. The husband - I want to spend more quality time with him, a date night is near impossible, so even a romantic dinner and a movie at home will suffice.

Friends and other family (mum, dad, siblings, cousins etc).
With four kids, I don't have a lot of time to catch up with everyone all the time, but I try to talk/text/chat with friends and/or (other) family on a daily basis, and catch up with closest friends every week.

Having fun and living life.
Again, this explains itself.

The House.
I would love to have a self cleaning house, but I'm yet to get that button working, so for now, the housework, decluttering, organising and general maintenance is an ongoing thing. I want my house to be a haven where my family can feel relaxed, and guests can feel welcome.

We have lots of plans for our house. We've completely renovated it, and we're planning more projects in the future. We were originally trying to pump any and all extra money onto our car loan to get that paid off asap, so we could get the extra room built and have another baby  our kids can have their own rooms (yes we will be having another bub in a few years :)). We've changed our priorities, and feel so much happier and calmer :)

Finances.
Money is a necessary evil. We're earning less but living more :)

What are you priorties?

What do I want out of life?

When I was little all I wanted to be was a vet and help save animals. Through high school, I wanted to be a criminologist or obstetrician. I still wanted to be a vet, but I didn't think I'd have the heart to put animals to sleep, even though it would be for the best.

I was in high school when my husband and I started dating, and I still hadn't decided what I wanted to be. When I turned 18, I got a job at a local club and worked very hard. It was then that I decided what I wanted. We wanted to move out and start the next phase of lives together.

We moved out when I was 18, got married at 19, had a baby at 20, bought a house at 21, had baby 2 at 21, had baby 3 at 23, quit my job at 24 and had baby 4 at 24.

It was such a hard transition at first, as I was always independent and refused to ever financially rely on anyone, especially my partner. It was hard watching mum and dad struggle raising four kids on one income, and I didn't want that for us. Hubby on the other hand, wanted me to stay home once we had our first bub, but he was happy with what ever I decided.

In order for us to afford for me to stay home, we had to completely change the way we lived. We always bought new and always bought quality when it came to the big things like furniture. Bigger was better(so we thought) and we thought we could do it all. The house, the cars, the kids, the jobs. We were always doing something to the house, we never stopped. When I look back now, we wasted so much money. So much time. So many important moments with our children.

How things have changed.

All I want out of life is my family. I want to have a big family and to be surrounded by love and happiness. I would love to stay home with my babies for as long as possible. I want to give my kids a great life, and let them experience and enjoy being kids. I want to be able to help them when they're older and have their own families.

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Life has greatly improved since we've made the change, we're all so much happier. My daughter said to me the other day,

"Mummy, when I grow up I want to be a mum just like you."

That made my heart melt!

We don't need the rushed life, the debts and the material things, we just need each other :)

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Linking up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT