Friday, June 15, 2012

Four-step Priority plan for Mother's - Dr Phil

As said in my latest post which you can find here, I want to be a better mum to my kids. I found this on Dr Phil's site and it has some great tips for frazzled mummies.

Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers

Are you stressed out from running the household, packing lunches and being a PTA mom? If you're mentally exhausted and out of balance, you aren't being fair to yourself or your family. You'll be a happier person " not to mention a better wife, mother and friend " once you stop putting your own needs last.

Make yourself a priority with Dr. Phil's tips!

1. Get over the guilt.
  • Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.
  • Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.
  • A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.
  • Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.
2. Make yourself a priority.
  • Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love.
  • Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves.
  • Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.
3. Discover your passions.
  • Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?
  • Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?"
  • When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.
4. Gain the support of your family.
  • This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for yourself " so you can be a better mom and wife.
  • Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.
I definitely need to make myself a priority, sometimes I feel so behind the scenes and forgotten about, even though I'm not. My family don't make me feel like that, it's how I make myself feel because I'm always making sure everyone else is happy, comfy and nourished, the house is at a non embarrassing state and the bills are paid that I forget about myself.


    1. I think that women are just hard wired to put everything and everyone before themselves. I have been doing this for so long now and I'm suffering as a reaction. Which means that of course the munchkin is suffering. Just do what is best for you and your family. It is hard when you see all these mums out there that seem to focus purely on their kids and family, and have it all together, with all the time in the world for their kids, and you can feel a little crappy about your own abilities, but taking the time for yourself is necessary and should definitely be on the top of the to-do list.
      Chrissie xx

      1. I agree! Women are definitely hard wired that way. The mums that seem to have it all together are most probably the same as us, cause to everyone else, except my best friends, I'm that mum... hmm little do they know how stressful things can get lol

    2. Absolutely agree with all of these. You'll be so much more there for everyone else, when you look after yourself first.